When Is It OK To Take The Gloves Off??

Ok, I am the mother of two teenage girls, a junior and a senior in high school. My oldest will be turning 18 years old on the 7th of October. And now I am being faced with the challenging questions like..."what is my curfew, and can I go out of town with my friends". While I don't want to be that strict parent that never lets her kids roam freely, I do demand to be a part of their lives no matter what. When I describe them to people I compare them to the Simmons Girls...without the fame and glory. They are suburbanites with manners, style, and class....and those who know them, knows exactly what I'm talking about. I always knew the day would come when I would have to 'Cut the cord' I just never prepared for it. You see I was a very young mother, I had my first child at the tender age of 15, and throughout the years we have educated our girls on life and the struggles we went through as a teenage parents. The things I missed out on because I choose to have my family early. Raising kids is very hard work....there is no "How to Guide" or "Parenting for Dummies" you simply have to rely on the morals in which you were taught. While I am the parent, we're also considered best friends....for me I believe there's no other way to be. My children are my investment in life, I'm raising them to be the very respectable, and to always stay focused on their goals and the things they want to achieve in life. And with all the violence, sex, diseases, and drugs, roaming our streets, I am deathly afraid of letting my babies out into the world. She has even been talking about moving out soon...What am I gonna do! (LOL). Of course they think we're very strict, unlike the other parents...but I simply say....that's because were NOT the other parent....and you can thank me later!

Now that I have rambled on I am still clueless as to how to proceed and still maintain the relationship that I have with them. Their wonderful kids, they get good grades, and nobody has made a grandma out of me....PRAISE JESUS! Now don't get me wrong...their not perfect, as no one is. And of course we've had some rumbles in the Bronx, but overall I've got to say that my girls are going well...hell they surpassed me, and that's just what I wanted. Soon they'll be off to college and really making my dreams come true. So I will end this blog just the way it started....When Is It OK To Take The Gloves Off??

Please feel free to leave your comments...thanks!

Marriage in 2010

I have been married for 10 years now and I must say that things sure have changed within society. You have those that participate in open marriages, or live under nontraditional living arrangements....just to name a few. And the feedback I received was surprising. Married life seemed to be just the same or in some cases better. So when I was asked how do I feel about the way marriage is being viewed, I couldn't help but feel a tad bit old...you know "Grand-Fathered In". But then I began to view it with an open mind and see things with a different light. I mean, I have been married for 10 years but I have also been with my husband since I was 14 years old. That alone carries a lot of weight for someone my age. You see, I always tell people that I've had the opportunity to have been blessed with every type of man within one man...now stay with me here. What I mean by that is, we all have friends whom confide in us about their relationships. Either their spouse/partner isn't a good lover, mother, father, provider, or best friend, and this leads to them being replaced or in some cases this may open the door to infidelity. With the generational culture changes and the diversity of our country, we are bound to be met with changes in all areas and aspects of our lives. While I can't say that I'm for an open marriage or separate living arrangements, I can say that having time apart...maybe a couple nights a week can prove to be very therapeutic for ones relationship. And I would strongly recommend that Date Night and Me Time be enforced, this will keep the line of communication open...and give you back a small piece of sanity (lol). I know that by having a family, things can get crazy and this can sometimes put a strain on the relationship. Between the kids social lives and activities, time can sometimes get away from you...and that's the only thing in this world that can't be replaced. While I know I'm not an expert on relationships, I do practice "Elevation" this is something I have adopted within my life and it means that every year one should elevate themselves to the next level. So any area of my life that I feel could use some WD-40, I simply Oil It or Replace It! With that being said....in order for any relationship to work and be successful, you MUST have the door open for change and room for growth....Hell, nobody is perfect and I'm still learning this game too. My advice is take baby steps, have fun, and love the one you with!!

From The Beginning......

Two years ago I was healthy, active, and full of life....I was a full-time realtor and my career was just starting to bloom. While sitting in my office, I received a disturbing phone call and was told my oldest brother had been murdered. Without thinking I wanted to get to the scene, I was for sure that someone had made a horrible mistake, but sadly...that wasn't the case. At that point my siblings and I was forced to make decisions that a person shouldn't ever have to make for there brothers and sisters. I am 33yrs old and I'm blessed to have both of my parents alive. And having to bury my brother before his time was simply unbearable. As I stated before, I was a gym rat...I would workout 6 days a week for hours at a time. Once the devastating loss of my brother occured, my body began to deteriorate. Suddenly I couldn't do the things I use to do, I couldn't wear the shoes I use to wear, hell...I couldn't even hold my own head up. I went from doctor, to doctor, being told...I just had spams...it would heal. It had gotten so bad I probably could opened my own pharmacy. After firing several doctors I finally found one who would listen to me. First I had to get surgery where two disc were removed out of my neck...and with my luck, that didn't fix the problem. So I began surfing the net and simply asked google"What causes chronic muscle spasms" that led me to a disorder called Fibromyalgia. Needless to say after two years of chronic pain all day...everyday, I finally found what my problem was and also figured out that it was brought on from stress. When my brother passed I didn't want to go to work, I stopped working out, and my business suffered...not to mention my relationships, both personal ans social. During my down time I had decided to enroll into college as well as write a book of my life trails and tribulations. Although I still have a long life ahead of me...the moral of my story is to never give up...and never let anyone tell you something that you simply don't agree with...especially when it has something to do with your life or the life of your loved ones. My goal is to fulfill my dreams and some of my brothers since he no longer can. I started this blog in the effort to create a following as well as learn from other fellow writers and hear their stories....I hope that you've enjoyed my post and will continue to see what else I'll have in store!