I Must Be CRAZY....

 I'm at the stage in my life where I'm almost done being a full time parent and I can't help but have some mixed feelings and emotions about it. I have one in college, a high school senior, and a seventh grader....and I swear my house is the ocean and everyone in it are like passing ships. Ok...I'll admit that I have "tunnel vision" I will be completely kid free in 5 years and I have my eyes on the prize. Now while that should be music to my ears....I can't help but feel like I want to stop it, pause it...or simply turn it off!! hahaha...I know, I know, you all are probabley saying "Girl Get A Grip" and your right....I must be crazy...but for 19 years they have been my life so now my question is....What's Next? LOL

Til we meet again ~ Tash Nycole

RELAX (Woosha) RELEASE ~

Some of you may see this word and instantly think....what the hell is she talking about. Well as some of you may already know, either from being within my circle or reading one of my previous blogs that I suffer from Fibromyalgia disorder. And during the past two years RELAXING has not been in my vocabulary nor apart of my day-to-day life. To give you an example; imagine walking around feeling as if  you were being bear hugged by five bears, and your shoulders looked as if you were saying (I don't know) all day 24/7!! With that being said, I have not only had to learn how to relax all over again, but it forced me to put things into perspective and learn how to appreciate the little things that we all are guilty of taking for granted. Now I'm not saying that if you don't relax that you'll end up being like me....but what I am saying is that, we need to take more time out for ourselves...have some ME time incorporated into our oh so busy schedules.

While this disorder has placed a road block in my life...I will not be defeated nor minimized by it. I believe that everything happens for a reason....and anyone who knows me knows that I was a train wreak waiting to happen. I have always lived a very fast paced lifestyle, and now I'm being forced to slow down and...RELAX! By doing so I finally have the chance to get to know me ME a little better, and I must say that I simply LOVE it! Now don't get me wrong...there are a lot of things that I'll never get to do again that once was a very huge part of my existence..and yes, it pisses me off to no end. But getting upset and crying about it means I loose, and that's simply not an option...All I'm saying is that there are things, people, and situations in life are are simply beyond our control. But what we do have complete control over is our reactions, and emotions. I tell my children to "Never Let'em Bring You Out Of Your Hook-Up". And the first step to accomplishing this is learning how to RELAX.....  
 

Do You Know Your Worth....

I have been out on my own since I was 16 years old and I must say it has had its pros' and cons'. Not only was I a teenage mother but by the age of 17 I had two children. And throughout my life I had to set goals and expectations for myself that only I could achieve. Yes, at times those goals were pushed back and set aside, but the main point is that you remember them and keep your eyes on the prize. Today I look at my life as something you would see on TV (but without the fame), my house hold is very fast paced but at the same time everyone is self sufficient and focused. I can't help but look back to how exactly we got here and more importantly how do we maintain it, then it hits me....every year I grow in some sort of way. I might change my hair color, make it longer...YES I said make it longer (LOL), get a new car, or even lose weight and in some cases even friends. My point being that I believe that if a person cannot elevate themselves into something greater each year...then they are doing themselves a disservice!

When I say "Do you know your worth" I mean do you know how valuable you are to yourself NOT the one's around you...ya see in order for YOU to be the best YOU...YOU must put YOU first!! It took me a long time to realize that, and when I did...it put everything into perspective. I'm not saying put others needs aside or be selfish, but what I am saying is, in order for YOU to know how much YOU mean to others...YOU first must know how much YOU mean to yourself. More times than none do we place others needs above our own, whether its our children, significant other, family or friends...and in some cases even the people at work, were ALL guilty of doing it. Again....I'm not saying DO NOT care about others feelings or concerns, I'm just saying YOU also need to take into consideration the things YOU do and what you bring to the table. For instance; you have those where one person may go out and make the money...but the other half makes sure that the kids are clean, homework is done, and a hot meal on the table, then there is whats known as the SHARED roles, and we all know what that is. Or you may have the person who plays both roles and does it ALL...in any case in order for any success to be made everyone must play their position and ultimately...."Know Your Worth". Although I have worn many shoes in my lifetime, I think I've found the perfect fit...so again I ask....Do you know yours?? Because I know mine...and knowing is half the battle!

P.S....Count how many times I used the word "YOU"....are things more clearer now? Don't worry...YOU can thank me later ;-)

Tomi Jones... Please Don't Go

When Is It OK To Take The Gloves Off??

Ok, I am the mother of two teenage girls, a junior and a senior in high school. My oldest will be turning 18 years old on the 7th of October. And now I am being faced with the challenging questions like..."what is my curfew, and can I go out of town with my friends". While I don't want to be that strict parent that never lets her kids roam freely, I do demand to be a part of their lives no matter what. When I describe them to people I compare them to the Simmons Girls...without the fame and glory. They are suburbanites with manners, style, and class....and those who know them, knows exactly what I'm talking about. I always knew the day would come when I would have to 'Cut the cord' I just never prepared for it. You see I was a very young mother, I had my first child at the tender age of 15, and throughout the years we have educated our girls on life and the struggles we went through as a teenage parents. The things I missed out on because I choose to have my family early. Raising kids is very hard work....there is no "How to Guide" or "Parenting for Dummies" you simply have to rely on the morals in which you were taught. While I am the parent, we're also considered best friends....for me I believe there's no other way to be. My children are my investment in life, I'm raising them to be the very respectable, and to always stay focused on their goals and the things they want to achieve in life. And with all the violence, sex, diseases, and drugs, roaming our streets, I am deathly afraid of letting my babies out into the world. She has even been talking about moving out soon...What am I gonna do! (LOL). Of course they think we're very strict, unlike the other parents...but I simply say....that's because were NOT the other parent....and you can thank me later!

Now that I have rambled on I am still clueless as to how to proceed and still maintain the relationship that I have with them. Their wonderful kids, they get good grades, and nobody has made a grandma out of me....PRAISE JESUS! Now don't get me wrong...their not perfect, as no one is. And of course we've had some rumbles in the Bronx, but overall I've got to say that my girls are going well...hell they surpassed me, and that's just what I wanted. Soon they'll be off to college and really making my dreams come true. So I will end this blog just the way it started....When Is It OK To Take The Gloves Off??

Please feel free to leave your comments...thanks!

Marriage in 2010

I have been married for 10 years now and I must say that things sure have changed within society. You have those that participate in open marriages, or live under nontraditional living arrangements....just to name a few. And the feedback I received was surprising. Married life seemed to be just the same or in some cases better. So when I was asked how do I feel about the way marriage is being viewed, I couldn't help but feel a tad bit old...you know "Grand-Fathered In". But then I began to view it with an open mind and see things with a different light. I mean, I have been married for 10 years but I have also been with my husband since I was 14 years old. That alone carries a lot of weight for someone my age. You see, I always tell people that I've had the opportunity to have been blessed with every type of man within one man...now stay with me here. What I mean by that is, we all have friends whom confide in us about their relationships. Either their spouse/partner isn't a good lover, mother, father, provider, or best friend, and this leads to them being replaced or in some cases this may open the door to infidelity. With the generational culture changes and the diversity of our country, we are bound to be met with changes in all areas and aspects of our lives. While I can't say that I'm for an open marriage or separate living arrangements, I can say that having time apart...maybe a couple nights a week can prove to be very therapeutic for ones relationship. And I would strongly recommend that Date Night and Me Time be enforced, this will keep the line of communication open...and give you back a small piece of sanity (lol). I know that by having a family, things can get crazy and this can sometimes put a strain on the relationship. Between the kids social lives and activities, time can sometimes get away from you...and that's the only thing in this world that can't be replaced. While I know I'm not an expert on relationships, I do practice "Elevation" this is something I have adopted within my life and it means that every year one should elevate themselves to the next level. So any area of my life that I feel could use some WD-40, I simply Oil It or Replace It! With that being said....in order for any relationship to work and be successful, you MUST have the door open for change and room for growth....Hell, nobody is perfect and I'm still learning this game too. My advice is take baby steps, have fun, and love the one you with!!

From The Beginning......

Two years ago I was healthy, active, and full of life....I was a full-time realtor and my career was just starting to bloom. While sitting in my office, I received a disturbing phone call and was told my oldest brother had been murdered. Without thinking I wanted to get to the scene, I was for sure that someone had made a horrible mistake, but sadly...that wasn't the case. At that point my siblings and I was forced to make decisions that a person shouldn't ever have to make for there brothers and sisters. I am 33yrs old and I'm blessed to have both of my parents alive. And having to bury my brother before his time was simply unbearable. As I stated before, I was a gym rat...I would workout 6 days a week for hours at a time. Once the devastating loss of my brother occured, my body began to deteriorate. Suddenly I couldn't do the things I use to do, I couldn't wear the shoes I use to wear, hell...I couldn't even hold my own head up. I went from doctor, to doctor, being told...I just had spams...it would heal. It had gotten so bad I probably could opened my own pharmacy. After firing several doctors I finally found one who would listen to me. First I had to get surgery where two disc were removed out of my neck...and with my luck, that didn't fix the problem. So I began surfing the net and simply asked google"What causes chronic muscle spasms" that led me to a disorder called Fibromyalgia. Needless to say after two years of chronic pain all day...everyday, I finally found what my problem was and also figured out that it was brought on from stress. When my brother passed I didn't want to go to work, I stopped working out, and my business suffered...not to mention my relationships, both personal ans social. During my down time I had decided to enroll into college as well as write a book of my life trails and tribulations. Although I still have a long life ahead of me...the moral of my story is to never give up...and never let anyone tell you something that you simply don't agree with...especially when it has something to do with your life or the life of your loved ones. My goal is to fulfill my dreams and some of my brothers since he no longer can. I started this blog in the effort to create a following as well as learn from other fellow writers and hear their stories....I hope that you've enjoyed my post and will continue to see what else I'll have in store!